Some of us find it very difficult to say ‘No’ to people.
To say ‘No’ to someone is so hard that we just say ‘Yes’ to things we can’t do or do not want to do.
Why do we say ‘Yes’ for things we should say ‘No’?
There can be various reasons as follows:
1. We are afraid to say ‘No’ as we want to avoid confrontation; also we don’t want to let people feel bad.
2. We are afraid to say ‘No’ because we want to please other persons. We do not want to let down our image of being very nice.
3. Fear of rejection by the other person.
4. Fear of other consequences, e.g., when we say ‘No’ to people, who are in higher position than us like our boss, parents, senior officials, then there is a fear of the consequence.
5. We do not want to hurt the other person, e.g., most parents just hand over whatever the kid demands because they do not want to hurt them.
We all know the power of yes. ‘Yes’ can be life-giving, exciting, and intoxicating but only when we mean it.
But ‘When our hearts aren’t behind it, ‘Yes’ can be depleting. When we say yes because we are supposed to, or because we are trying to please someone, then ‘Yes’ can drain out our energy and potentials.
Saying “No “isn’t easy. That is because the word “No” tends to be associated with negativity. Saying “NO” could even be viewed as hurtful or selfish. But, it is better to say “NO” if we are genuine and cannot uphold it.
The manner in which we say ‘No’ is very important. The tone, body language and the audacity of ‘No’ plays an important role in not hurting the other person. The proper manner to say ‘No’, you can say,
‘I will be happy to do it but…’
‘I wish I could do it for you….’
If you can’t fully grant someone’s request, think of a way you can still do something to help out. When you explain your scenario and express a sincere interest in helping someone, they will understand your ‘No’ in right perspective.
Offer a consolation Prize: If you can’t fully grant someone’s request, think of a way you can still do something to help out. When you explain your scenario and express a sincere interest in helping someone they will understand your “NO” in right perspective.
Finally, saying ‘No’ is not a bad or selfish action. It helps us to concentrate on what is important to us, so that we can get our version of success much faster. Saying ‘No’ will also help everyone around us to develop and solidify the incredibly important habit of self-reliance.
It will also Help us to avoid the negative feeling of lack of progress, or even the worse feeling that we are not in control of our own life.
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