Being a parent is one of the biggest things to be proud of and with it, there is plenty of responsibility as well. As uncle Ben said to Peter Parker (Spider-Man), “With great powers comes great responsibility.” You may know it as it is one of the most famous quotes among people of all age groups, and it is so popular because it holds such significance in everyone’s life. When a couple becomes parents, they are filled with joy, it gives them satisfaction and fulfillment. They attach all their hopes, their dreams with their kid. They want to give him all the happiness in the world and want to protect it from everything bad around him. Such is the love of a parent.
Even before the birth of their child, the couple attaches it to lots of hopes and dreams. So, when the kid is born, these hopes kind of form bondage and restriction for that kid, which is never a good thing. But, when the parents are blessed with a disabled child, their hopes and dreams suffer a huge shock, their whole belief system is shaken, and they are forced to re-evaluate their choices for the kid. This brings in great agony for the entire family, and this agony gives birth to dissatisfaction.
So, let us learn about some mistakes in the parenting style of parents of kids with special needs:
1. Parents always want the best for their kids. So, if they learn that their kid has some kind of disability, they make efforts to make the problem go away completely, which seldom happens. This inaccurate assessment of the progress of the kid leads to disappointment for the parents. Some things to remember are, to be specific, to have measurable goals that are attainable and relevant.
2. One especially important parenting advice in disabled children is that always be smart. We as parents often think that the more therapies we can arrange for our disabled child, the better it is for him. But this is very wrong, as this leads to a very hectic schedule for the family, consumes a lot of energy, time, and money. They think that this will fasten the development rate which is a very wrong concept as the handicapped kids are by definition, slow learners and need lots of patience.
3. Disabled kids have lots of issues. They feel things like other normal kids but are unable to express them similarly. They show their progress infractions and are not able to work miracles. This should not concern the parents. They should always have patience and faith in their kid and the team supporting him. Know that your kid is not the first and the only kid they are working with, always keep close contact with them and faith in their experience.
4. One thing to remember always is that, be calm. You should never take any decision in an excited state of mind, especially when it concerns your kid. I know that you only have good in your heart but if you think that, you are not doing enough for him, you will feel the urge to do something new, as you do not wish to have the regret later. Always be calm, converse with your partner, and the team working with your kid before taking any decision.
5. We, humans, are deeply passionate beings. We tend to conclude things which are not noticeably clear to us, we connect dots of things which are linked with each other, but it is rarely the case. We are always so concerned about the health and progress of our disabled child that, every little thing he does, we think that it is a sign of progress. We need to learn to be more analytical and have control over our excitement. Rather than concluding, we should talk to the kid’s carers as they will be able to provide more in-depth analysis as their knowledge regarding kids with a special need is far greater than us.
6. Never consider yourself an expert in everything, as it is not normal. Instead, it is always smart to take advice and help from true experts whenever necessary. They can give valuable parenting tips and calm your mind. Share your feelings with the ones close to you, never hold up feelings as it never has any positive outcome.
7. Raising a disabled child is a very tough job. He needs constant attention and care. It is not a one-person job. So do not try to do it by yourself, thus increasing the burden on yourself, and ultimately, your child suffers. Talk to people, say what is bothering you, share your troubles.
8. Be more open about your child’s trouble, you cannot expect everyone to understand your troubles, but still, you will find support. The majority of humans have empathy in their hearts, and often they lend support to the ones who ask for it. It is an awfully bad parenting style to suffer in silence.
9. You should accept that the problems your kid is going through, will stay with him till his last breath. Though it may be reduced to a great extent that he can lead a near-normal life, it will never go away completely. No miracle drug can cure your kid in an instant. So, do not antagonize yourself over what is impossible.
10. Lastly, take care of yourself. You are the main pillar of support for your disabled child. Do not make the mistake of focussing your life so much on your kid that you forgot about yourself, which indirectly is a more harmful thing for your kid. You should take care of your mental and physical health, along with caring for your disabled kids.
At Narayan Seva Sansthan, we take care of all the needs of the kids with special needs, from their education to mental growth to having a better life. We always look forward to helping the poor and unprivileged as there is no greater good than helping someone who cannot help themselves. Finally, always remember to ask for help, learn new things, and try new things, as this is for the good of your kid.
Narayan Seva Sansthan Seva Dham Seva Nagar, Hiran Magri, Sector -4, Udaipur (Rajasthan) - 313001 INDIA
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